The Kela and Ryan Story

I met Ryan in the most unlikely of places, well, unlikely - because we worked out.

The night before I met Ryan I went to a party with a few girls I didn't know that well, looking for a change of pace. I was always cautious and shy, never went to parties, unless I knew everyone there and even then... ha. I had been in one of my first serious relationships, and had my heart broken. This boy was my first kiss... I trusted him and I felt betrayed. After a month or so I decided to go for something more risky. I was invited to go to this party with a few girls, the party, had older more mature guys (I was 17 at the time). At this party some sleazy guy decided to take me under his wing, the girls I was with paired up with friends of his. One girl and I went to the party with hooked up with this guys best friend... so we headed back to their house to get to know eachother better. She went off into that guys room, and I found myself in a room with a man about mid-late 20's. I was naive... I will not lie. I wasn't sure what I was doing there. Soon I realized - he planned to have sex with me. "WOAH! - I don't think so!" I never kissed this guy or anything, luckily, but once I had told him I was a virgin and didn't plan on doing anything with him, he kicked me out of his room. I was disgusted, scared and alone. I don't entirely remember the rest of that night... I believe I eventually went and found my friend and she and I went home.

The next day she called and told me there was another party, this one was suppose to be better, it was an after party for this rave... and it should be awesome. I was feeling cold about life, about men in particular. I went to this party, planning on getting drunk and just rolling with it, not thinking about all my insecurities or the horribleness of the night before. We arrived at the party, and found guys more of our age bracket and it was a much less slimly vibe. Still I began to drink, I got pretty drunk. I remember the moment I met Ryan... I was standing in the kitchen...drunk... and this GORGEOUS tall, well dressed, blond hair, blue eyed guy was smiling at me from across the room. I actually turned around to see who he was looking at. When I turned back he had moved closer to me and we started to chat. I soon learned that his name was Ryan and that he too was a bit intoxicated. After a while a few of us moved into this back room, before Ryan and I knew what had happened, everyone else had left the room and we found ourselves alone. We talked a lot - and before I knew it I was laying on his chest and we seemed to connect right away - it felt comfortable. After a while things got a little heated, and we actually got a bit hot and heavy! No sex! But at one point we both realized that we were going too far and stopped and I informed him I was a virgin, and didn't want to have sex with him, he said he was too - I thought he was lying! "Sure buddy!" We kissed and had a good time until 6-7am! When my girlfriends found me, and pulled me out of the room, dropping my phone number in his lap. We had to get home!!!

If I remember correctly, Ryan called later that day or perhaps the following day, it was pretty quick. I was in full regret mode by then. I had gone too far with this guy who was likely a player and using me to try and have sex with a virgin. When he called, I told him point blank, that girl at the party, isn't me. Don't expect things like that from me again. He said he felt the same way and would like to take me out on a proper date. We planned for him to meet me after school on Monday afternoon. I purposely wore a sweater and was very conservative, and was on full guard! I could barely remember what he looked like... I was worried. As I slowly made my way to the front of the school, several girls came running up, screaming about how there was this amazingly hot guy outside looking for me. I was starting to be a little excited, but mostly still nervous. He was still quite beautiful - sober. :) I was floored. He and I walked to his car and drove to this gaming store. I didn't understand at the time why we were there... but I found out later. He sold a few of his favorite video games, so he had money to take me out for lunch. We went to Carl's Jr. :D In retrospect - it was really really sweet! Especially if you know Ryan, he is SUCH a video game nerd! It took him years to find those games again, apparently they were rare!

Then we went to my house and he was obviously interested in getting a little frisky. I was so rude... trying everything I could to be unattractive to him, still really believed he was lying just to get in my pants. He was quite charming though, so eventually I did kiss him and we kissed for a long while. This was late January 2001... we went to another party, not together but aware that the other would be there. He was sick and on crazy drugs, didn't remember me. I was totally offended. The next week when he showed up at my school, I called him a pervert and wouldn't talk to him. He stood in the rain as I drove away with friends.

Two weeks go by and I'm still calling him my boyfriend to my friends, but I haven't talked to him. I was having a very dysfunctional time in my life, I was really depressed. I decided I would have my mom check me into a mental hospital the next day. The night before I decided to have a farewell party with friends... I called and invited Ryan. He was obviously surprised. I got drunk... (I was a total alcoholic when I was younger) when I woke up my head was in Ryan's lap, he'd taken care of me all night. At that moment I decided to give this a chance, we planned to spend Valentines day together. A few days later, when I was fully smitten with him, he called, said he needed to talk to me. When he got there, he informed me that he was still in love with his ex and wanted but wanted to stay friends with me. I was devastated.

When Valentines Day came, I had decided that I was not going to take "just friends" as an option. We went out as friends, and I quickly began to flirt and play fun little games with him. Soon I had won him over! By the end of Valentines day we were making out, and officially together! It was tough, I was afraid he was only into me cause I was being such a flirt, and that his heart still belonged to the ex. I didn't know this for sure for a few years, but as it turns out, he was still in love with the ex, and was still very much considering staying with me until she returned. I didn't know this for many years... but we continued on anyway.

3 days later - we lost our virginities together! That and the way we met - alone to me say "not a good way for a relationship to start". We were at his mom and step dads house, and little did I know, but they were really upset to find me in the house in the morning, and we sat awkwardly around the kitchen table eating muffins. I was mortified! After that Ryan and I continued on with our relationship, happily... but soon his parents began to get really uncomfortable knowing we were sexually active in their home, since Ry was 18 and I was 17, they didn't want Ryan in trouble with the law. So Ryan moved into my parents house. Strangely enough my parents (especially my step-dad) were not really aware of our activities, even though they were aware and ok with Ryan moving into the house, sleeping in my room. HA HA!

I ended up graduating early, and when I turned 18 I took my social security check (from my deceased father) and moved out - my mom was so pissed. I got a job and thought Ryan and I would be fine together out on our own. Little did we know that we had moved into a problem home. Our landlord were very wealthy contractors from France, we lived in a studio under their mansion. Soon there was leaking and there began a legal battle. Luckily we never had to worry about going to court, but we had to move out, and it was pretty awful for a long while. We lived on Top Roman. We got two kittens, Clover (girl for Ryan) and Daray (boy for me), Clover even had a litter of kittens while we were there. They were still pretty tiny when we moved out.

In our 2nd apt we went through more problems, dealing with trouble roommates, and our first taste of feeling like we were missing out on being young, single and active. I began to loose interest in Ryan and began thinking about being with other men, one of which was Ryan's best friend. Ryan didn't seem to care, which only further caused me to reach out to others. Luckily I never did cheat on Ryan, but it came into my mind so much that I feel like I did. It's something I am just now forgiving myself fore. We made it through that time, and have grown stronger and more honest with each other. After another year we found a place we could live together, without roommates. Oh what a difference!

That was just over 3 years ago! We've settled into a nice little nitch, sure we have disagreements at times but have learned how to communicate them and how to love each other unconditionally. The doubts are gone, we know there isn't anyone else better for us. We suite each other. :)

In September 2006 Ryan and I went on our very first romantic getaway, to Pt. Reyes to a little cottage near the coast, with fireplace, hot tub, kitchen. He'd been a little suspicious for a few weeks, "Don't look at the bank account" (we share an account) and on the way to Pt. Reyes he stopped at a florist and picked up a huge box of fresh rose petals and I'd packed a nice picnic basket. We had planned to go to the coast one day and have a romantic picnic, I thought that there might be more to this trip then met the eye... but unfortunately I got sick the first day we were there. We ended up curled up on the couch the whole trip, Ryan taking care of me. I was sick for another week once we got back, turned out to be Mono. I SWEAR I DIDN'T KISS ANYONE ELSE! :D

In October Ryan and I planned a trip to a closer beach to finally have our romantic picnic. The date that finally worked was October 22nd 2006... which just happens to be my deceased fathers birthday. Ryan was worried, not being too sly he says "I don't think it's appropriate for us to go today..." and since I had a very big idea as to why he was saying that, I told him "That it was ok..." but he kept pushing that we should wait. I swore to him, it was OK! That it would be a great way to honor my dad. He eventually agreed. We went out, had an amazing picnic filled with laugher - had a crazy seagull - whom we named Henry (the engagement seagull). At this point Ryan must be well aware of how much I know of his plan, so he begins to mess with me. He'd get on his knee and say things like. "Kela.... would you like some champagne?" and I'd silently grumble and smile and say yes. After a few hours and all the food was gone, Ryan turns to me and asks if I'm ready to go home. He's grinning. I glare at him. "No..." he grins at me... "why not?" I didn't want to say anything, I wanted to have the nice romantic engagement and he was playing with me on purpose. After him grinning ear to ear and asking 10 times why I didn't want to leave... I finally blurted out something along the lines of "I know you are going to propose to me! Jerk!" and he's all smiley and so he starts to get down on his knee and I yell at him! "NOT NOW! - that isn't romantic, jerk!" I was so pissed! But you know... that is SO Ryan, he loves to poke at people, drive them to the brink of screaming at him... he loves it! He is sort of a punk ass... but he's a very charming punk ass! :D We walked around the beach, letting our feet graze the waves and just enjoyed the moment, trying to forget about his little stunt.

Eventually he slowly turned to me, got down on this knee and opened the box - upside down, the ring fell into the sand. He quickly picked it up and placed it back in its spot, and he looked up at me nervously and asked "Kela will you marry me?" I pushed him down in the sand and said no repeatedly - mostly because he was a punk ass... but I meant yes. I eventually said yes and we kissed an he placed the ring on my finger. Not the most ideal way for an engagement, but so very much Ryan and I. :D

Wedding is so soon! September 23, 2007, almost exactly 1 year from when we went to Pt. Reyes! After the wedding we are off to Hawaii - neither of us have ever gone there before... and have never gone on a vacation that far away or for that long - 5 nights 6 days! Then when we return we will try and get into a real house and then soon after that, we'll start the family! :)

YAY TO LOVE!

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed our roller coaster story!
Kela