Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Moving Tomorrow

I don't know why exactly but even though Ryan and I are finally moving into our house tomorrow, I woke up soooo stressed out today. No reason - everything is going sooooo smoothly - everything is set and nothing is going wrong - but for some reason I have this horrific feeling that something will. It's almost like its just going TOO smoothly or something and thats throwing me off. Thought if I wrote everything out it would put my mind at ease.

1.) Set all all the utilities to come on and go off at appropriate houses, on the right days. DONE.
2.) Pack - about 80% done - as good as we can get it until we move some stuff out - living in box land right now.
3.) Deposit - Paid.
4.) Rent due tomorrow - totally have the funds... no worries there.
5.) Anxious to get going... Get to move tomorrow night!

So why am I so anxious and tense... litterally all my muscles in my body are tense and hurty. Yesterday and the day before I've been so sick to my tummy - maybe thats all part of this new found stress too.

I had this dream last night that I had snuck into the new place to show my friend Kim the house... and even though in real life its empty right now - in my dream the landlords lived there with their non-existant daughter. We thought they were gone so we snuck in... then found the daughter asleep on the couch in the living room so we dashed out of there! Then the landlord came running out after us screaming at us "Your moving in tomorrow - why would you rob us?!?!" and I was standing there pleading to him about how it was all a misunderstanding and how much we wanted to live there! Finally he lets it go - but he doesn't think we can afford the place... so him and my mom are teaming up to figure out a payment plan "cause I obviously can't afford it" which is insane cause we can... but dream do weird things right. Finally I scream at them "No - you can put it on my card right now! I can afford to live here!!!" and he and my mom storm off to collect payment. I woke up devistated somehow even though the dream sorta worked out. Talk about stressful, eh?

I know where some of that came from... because the landlords name in my dream wasn't right - his name was the name of the owner of the Bridal Path - which explains some of my anxiety because we bounced a check to them over a year ago... but Ryan and I are completely different people now - much more safe and smart with our funds...

Also yesterday my sister Nicki was worried about Ryan and moving in so soon - deffinitly trying to be helpful and sisterly - but she stressed me out - spouting all these negitives at me, then she had my mom talk to me - although my mom seemed less concerned... she was just playing her part you understand. Then last night my brother tried to loan us money - all covertly - like we were afaid to ask... so I get it - my mind was racing with all these other peoples uncertainties and it got to me... but why don't I feel better knowing this?

I want more then anything for Ryan and I to move into this house... it means so many things for us, a better way of life... a more safe, less stressful way of life... the idea of losing this opportunity seriously makes my heart skip a beat and I loose my breath - I know its unfounded that anything should go wrong... everything has just been so perfect.

I'm sure by 10pm tomorrow - we'll be nessled nicely in our new - slightly chaotic, unpacked home and my fears will be but a fading memory... but right now... I'm anxious.

EVERYONE HOPE THAT TODAY SPEEDS BY UNEVENTFULLY, and SO DOES TOMORROW - I really need it to be 6pm tomorrow right now. LOL!

Wish Us Luck!

Love Always,