In this crazy world we live in, sometimes its the little things we must focus on... to realize just how wonderful the world is. I realize that I tend to focus on the negative, deciding to let them run my life. However today is not that kind of day. I've been watching Julie and Julia (Finally) and am stunned I didn't think to do what was done in this story. I've taken the last year off to do whatever I fancy... to find myself if you will... much like these women in the story... I know lots of people would view this as selfish or lazy... and of course it is... but it is also the most liberating, joyful experience of my life. I think that life is far too short not to follow your heart and do what feels right, as long as it doesn't negatively affect your life of course.
A few days ago I wrote down a list of things to accomplish for 2010... something I do every year... "New Years Resolutions" if you please. Most of the bullet points were generic - loose weight *and keep it off this time, try to be more patient and caring. Then I found myself writing down something I was surprised about - "keep a journal again". When I was younger... I wrote so much... I could barely take my eyes off the page... I'd right upwards to 10 pages a day and it never seemed like enough. Then... about 8-9 years ago... it just STOPPED. I could say it was Ryan's fault... but that's not really true. The reason I stopped is that I suddenly didn't feel I had anything of worth to write about - BECAUSE I didn't have any teen angst anymore... the constant inner conflict to deal with. So the writing stopped. Funny thing is... just because things aren't horrible doesn't mean I shouldn't write about them... in fact... as I said in the first paragraph... why only focus on the negative. This hit me like a ton of bricks this morning - as I realized I still had YET to start writing my journal. So I grabbed my purse and headed over to "Boarders" to find my new writing friend. The very first one I found was this beautiful spiral bound notebook... with the numbers 2010 on the front... and inside... one page for every day of the year. What a perfect motivation for me to stay focused and just write. This way if I miss a day... I'm killing trees for no reason... so I must write - FOR THE TREES! :D They died for me to be able to keep a promise to myself... so for them... I vow to do it. I wrote my first page today... I just hope I keep it up.
I know what your thinking.... "Kela -- Your writing on your blog right now... what's the difference?" For those of you who have not written in a journal... on a daily basis... I will tell you. The journal is for you... to look back and reflect on what your thinking and doing. The blog is to entertain all the folks who read online... I have been in this crazy limbo... deciding what to do with myself for the past year... experiencing new challenges and pushing myself to be a stronger more focused person. Yet... I've pulled away from what made me - me.
Back to food - cause you know that we all love to talk food. I picked up some of my favorite cheeses yesterday... and today... as my mom and I watched Julie and Julia we broke them out. From Raley's in Petaluma ... the ever elusive but highly sought after "Tuscan Pesto Brie" and the "Kerrygold - Reserve Cheddar (aged over 2 years - and imported from Ireland) - and as usual ... nothing can compare... it is really just THAT good. As amazing as the Reserve Cheddar is... if you have yet to try the Pesto brie... go... go get it now! You will not be disappointed. When I first found this cheese... not only did I not like Pesto ... but I wasn't huge on brie either. I know I'm Satan spawn or something, but its the truth... now... I just see its magic that much clearer. Also... I have noticed that my taste for food is ever evolving... things I never liked before suddenly are delicious and my tastebuds are yelling at me for not enjoying them earlier.
So with that said - I leave you with this. Life is too short to waste it on being good all the time. Indulge... enjoy... and savor life!
Thanks for listening,